Copa America 2024 is just around the corner, and perhaps more importantly, the kits are in. We can say with almost 100% certainty that there will be some madness going down at the Copa—too much passion, too much fire, too many mad b*stards.
Some of the kits are equally insane, and so we’re taking this opportunity to rank the home kit of every nation taking part in the tournament.
Listen, tastes differ—it’s all subjective—but our opinion is definitive and correct, so you can forget what everyone else says. First off, an absolute stinker from Puma in our (correct) opinion.
16. Paraguay
We don’t have a problem with the half & half collar, we’ve got nothing against the tapering in of the white at the bottom either—very 2008 in a good way. Something doesn’t sit right with us, though. Think it’s those diagonal broken blue lines dashed across the red stripes. Just a bit messy. Gives us the ick.
15. Venezuela
It’s a red Adidas kit. They’ve not even tried. Sort of thing you could get in a bundle deal to kit your Sunday League team out in, with the Venezuelan badge stuck on it. Must try harder.
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TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every team to win the Copa America?
14. Colombia
It’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. It just feels a bit cookie-cutter. Zero creativity going on here. In fact, it’s clearly just a template in Colombian colours. Colombia deserves better.
13. Chile
See above. What Adidas have done here is take the Colombia kit, change the colours, and put a little subtle star pattern on there so that people like us can’t accuse them of just using template kits for a huge international tournament. We see you, Adidas. We see you.
12. Costa Rica
Whoa! We were joking, Adidas, please relax. Whoa! (Leave it out!) Are you smoking crack or something? (Adidas, just leave it, just leave it.) We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment (it’s not worth it, Adidas, just leave it). Don’t touch me (it’s not worth it), don’t touch me (leave it out). Don’t, I’m alright, don’t touch me.
A lot going on here. A bit too much going on.
11. Canada
That reverse Nike logo is a nice touch, and we dig the sleeves and cuffs. The central badge has got us popping too. Sort that collar out and we’re all in. The collar has spooked us. Like meeting a gorgeous person on a night out and then discovering they eat their cereal with water instead of milk.
TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every Copa America top scorer since 1991?
10. Bolivia
An interesting shade of green, and the material looks like it might be stretchy and comfortable. It probably isn’t, but it looks that way, and that’s pleasing. The detail on the sleeves is a nice addition as well. Fair play, Marathon.
9. USA
Same collar idea as the Canadian one that gave us the heebies and the jeebies, but it works in this instance. Just suits the American flag more than the Canadian one. It’s the stripes. The stripes save it.
The rest of the shirt is clean as always. Take us back to the mad denim kits and the massive, bold designs of the Alexei Lalas days and we’ll gladly give you our money.
8. Brazil
This effort from Nike is a bit of fun and we enjoy it. The option to pop the collar is always welcomed, the patterning is pleasing on the eye, and the big central badge is a corker. Would wear down the Power League or down the pub.
7. Panama
It’s nice to see Reebok making an appearance on the big stage. This kit is giving us 2000s nostalgia, and that big old badge looks great. Extra points for the panama hat photoshoot.
6. Ecuador
Marathon are actually an Ecuadorian brand, and it’s always nice when a nation has a homemade shirt. England & Umbro, Germany & Adidas, USA & Nike… just nice, isn’t it.
We’re feeling this clean sash style. It also looks like a River Plate kit in Boca Juniors colours, which could be an intentional move to rile Argentinians. Massive if true.
READ: Where are they now? The 2021 Copa America Team of the Tournament
5. Peru
The original sashistas. This one is a beauty. So clean, so perfectly executed, honestly just a gorgeous kit. No notes. Praying for a Peru v Ecuador derby della sash.
4. Argentina
That gold World Cup-winners badge looks good on the Argentina shirt, doesn’t it? The Albiceleste rarely have a poor kit, and this one is the opposite of poor—it is a work of art.
Like, good art—not the sort of art that you need a master’s degree to appreciate. No more words, just applause.
3. Mexico
Si, si, si, si, siiiiiiiiii. An homage to the Mexican/Mayan peacock myth in football shirt form. According to the myth, the peacock took its beautiful feathers from the roadrunner and promised to reign as co-kings of the birds when the peacock won the gods’ favour.
The peacock forgot the roadrunner when it became king of the birds and, as punishment, had its beautiful voice taken from it and is now forced to live as a beautiful, squawky little sh*t. Lovely shirt, though.
2. Uruguay
We reckon you either love this one or you hate it. We might wake up and hate it tomorrow, but, today, that clean and simple design is bringing us happiness.
An in-house kit always has the potential to be truly vile, but Uruguay have done well with this one if you ask us.
1. Jamaica
There is no competition for Jamaica at the top. They’re clear of the competition and it ain’t close. It’s the best one. In fact, we can’t actually remember the last time Jamaica had a kit that was anything less than a 9/10.
Spending our pocket money on this one and rooting for the Reggae Boyz.
