Now she’s using it again, and I’m deeply hurt by this.
The association with a monster is not one I want my child to have for herself, and it comes across as mean.
Since my first expression of not liking this is being ignored, I’m not sure how to proceed.
— HATES NAME-CALLING
DEAR HATES : Your sister has a peculiar sense of humor. There are sweet nicknames, and “Patzilla” isn’t one of them. In fact, it’s rather mean and sinister.
How to proceed would be to not expose your child to anyone who ridicules her or calls her a name you don’t want her to have.
DEAR ABBY : When my husband and I were dating 15 years ago, he would occasionally get angry and stalk off or bust a bag of chips, but after I gave him time alone, he’d be back like nothing happened.
He always said that episodes such as this were something he was “working on.”
After we had children, the incidents continued occasionally. I thought it was because he worked hard, so as a stay-at-home-mom, I just gulped, gave him his space, and he would eventually get back to normal.
I continued walking on eggshells and tried diligently to not make him angry again. Embarrassingly, my son’s preschool teacher asked one time if everything was OK because my son mentioned that his daddy yelled at his mommy a lot.
My husband lost his job six months ago and has chosen not to work since then. He doesn’t want to work for “the man” anymore, and his angry outbursts have increased. He has destroyed multiple items in our home (the trash can, our cooktop and a colander).
Our kids are older now and witness these events, and I can no longer continue to live in this environment. He’s setting a terrible example and I hate hiding out in the bedroom.
I recently got a job to help with family finances, but I’m not sure I can focus with all this going on at home.
I’ve suggested marriage counseling multiple times, but he ignores me. What do you suggest I do?
— CAN’T TAKE IT IN CALIFORNIA