When it came to pissing squids, Squid Pisser were the toppest dudes out. Continuing the unhinged, depraved hyper-hardcore The Locust started while trapping The Blood Brothers‘ limitless entropy and exacer-masturbating the explosive metallic stylings of a band like Melted Bodies, My Tadpole Legion was one of my favorite projects of last year. It was heavy on the guests which was fine enough – sometimes you gotta lead with numbers – but I wanted to see how much pisses they could squid on their own with their next project. Then Dreams Of Puke comes along and firehoses vomit into my ass and out my mouth, reverse Human Centipede-style.
Comprised of a smudged and gunked (like hip-hop’s legendary ‘chopped and screwed’ sonic modality, just gooier) 20 minutes and some change, this new LP (Long Piss) is short on coherent moments, tall on diarrheal volleys dissolving your brain and placing a lone ribbiting frog in its place. They’ve since enlisted Michael Armendáriz (Melted Bodies, Cancer Christ, Duck Duck Goose) into their more permanent legion which will certainly be a boon when it comes to absolute alien depravity that demands use of all eight of your holes along with the secret ninth hole.
It’s a demanding album, not just sonically, but coercively as well. On this album, we’re urged, violently, to “Kill All Your Friends”, “Cancel the Family”, and “Vaporize a Neighbor”, perfectly reasonable things when you have a frog for a brain. The latter of those three tracks/commands is originally from their Vaporize A Tadpole re-release/extension of their first LP with bonus tracks and demos. It fits awesomely here making for one of Dreams Of Puke‘s genuinely melodic moments with the chorus and riffs. Single “Splatter the Master” is another such moment on the album with its serene harmonized vocals at the end not unlike what “Liquified Remains” had on it, bookended by tremendous, horrendous spikes of speed and smut.
I love “Felching Your God” and its sub-minute gangbang of whirring blender blade death and different vocal textures, like a peanut gallery mining pleasure from your own disgust. “Gack Action Gods” right after it replaces your formerly felched god with new ones – maybe it’s the word ‘gack’ triggering this thought in me, but this sounds like the theme song for a crass, adult version of Action League Now! from Kablam! on old Nickelodeon. ‘Pummel’ doesn’t even begin to describe the track’s sonic onslaught that doesn’t give a solitary, miniscule fuck. I also must shout out “Hermaphroditic Shopping Carts” not only for the wild name, but for having the album’s only atmospheric moment at the beginning before burping aural smegma into our ears with 30 seconds of raw, bloodied hardcore.
Just about every track sounds like fetish torture, a frotting with the steel wool of weird guitar tones and shrapnel-producing drum slams that honestly make the first album sound tame. From the dissonant drunken dreariness of “Heaven’s A Place On Earth” to the pus-eruption of “Lord of the Slog” (perhaps a reference to their own “Lord of the Frog”), Dreams Of Puke starts and never fucking stops, each loop like a new game+ playthrough with more viscera and watery seminal fluid thrown into your face like a cartoon pie. Is it good? Ridiculously, yes, but it is surely not for everyone, or maybe anyone.
This album’s just a blazing piss beam, blasting shit caked into the porcelain of a toilet away into the gator-infested sewers. Dreams Of Puke is the Mars Attacks! of blistered and abscessed hardcore, showcasing super mutant bukkake blasts of sound, suck, and slime that only the sickest minds could endure. It’s a technicolor dolphin burrowing into your urethra like an ill-fitting Magic School Bus. To be a fan of Squid Pisser is to be a fan of debauchery the likes this planet hasn’t seen. It is the hardcore version of the sound of a fish slapping against wet concrete, bent and bred to cacophonic extremes that could only happen now after our generation sucking on the teat of Newgrounds and rotten.com for years. It will milk you, it will fill you, then use your repeatedly inflating and deflating bagpipe-like form as an instrument for their next scabby screed.
